Doing Things Differently:
A chat with Nancy Gilette
In this week’s episode, I’m chatting with parenting expert and RDI Consultant Nancy Gilette. Nancy is a powerhouse when it comes to helping parents—especially those raising autistic or neurodivergent kids— to navigate things differently.
But here’s the magic: the insights she shares aren’t just for parents of neurodivergent kiddos. This conversation is for every parent who’s feeling the shifts in the world and wondering how to respond with more calm, connection, and intention.
We talk about:
-
The power of self-regulation (and how hard it can be)
-
What it really means to show up differently for our kids
-
Practical tools to help you stay grounded in the moment
-
How Nancy’s personal journey has shaped the work she does today
This is one of those episodes where you’ll find yourself nodding along and maybe pausing to write down a few of her mic drops.
Nancy Gilette is a certified Relationship Development Intervention (RDI®) consultant with over 20 years of experience supporting autistic and neurodivergent children, their families, and the professionals who care fort hem. Through her private practice inCanada, Nancy offers a refreshingly honest and empowering approach that helps shift the focus from crisis and compliance to connection, co-regulation, and meaningful long-term growth.With deep respect for each child’s unique way of experiencing the world, Nancy teaches practical, relationship-based strategies that help parents and caregivers understand behaviour, reduce overwhelm, and build engagement in everyday life. Her work is grounded in empathy, experience, and a belief that change happens not through doing more…but by doing what truly matters.
Takeaways
- RDI focuses on quality of life rather than just task completion.
- Understanding the ‘why’ behind tasks is crucial for autistic individuals.
- Parents must model emotional regulation for their children.
- Self-care is essential for parents to avoid burnout.
- Community support is vital for parents of neurodiverse children.
- Proactive strategies are more effective than reactive ones.
- Environmental modifications can enhance learning experiences.
- Balance in parenting is about sustaining regulation daily.
- It’s important to let go of guilt associated with self-care.
- Every autistic individual is unique, requiring personalized approaches.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to RDI and Personal Journey
05:08 Understanding RDI: Quality of Life vs. Tasks
10:45 The Importance of Context in Learning
12:51 Parenting Through a Neurodiverse Lens
15:05 Shifting from Crisis to Regulation
19:54 Quality Over Quantity in Parenting
22:34 Visual Supports and Intentional Living
23:19 Emotional Regulation Techniques for Kids
25:47 Proactive vs Reactive Parenting Strategies
27:44 Understanding Neurodiversity and Individual Needs
30:47 The Power of Body Doubling in Learning
33:41 Environmental Modifications for Better Learning
36:46 Building Community and Support for Parents
37:47 Defining Balance in Parenting
40:46 The Role of Self-Care in Parenting
42:47 Lessons Learned from Parenting Experiences
44:43 Connecting with Nancy and Resources Available
47:15 Empowering Mothers Through Community
